Relationship advice is definitely needed in these days where people are so connected to their technology & social media. Who am I to give advice you ask?
Well I'm no guru on the subject, but I am married, and I have been around the block a time or two. From my personal experiences and research, it is a bit disappointing to see that It's so easy for people to:
1. get distracted and bored with their relationships
2. get frustrated & stop committing 100% to the relationship
3. start looking for greener pastures in someone else.
Well being that I've been "there, done that," (way back in the day of course!), I can tell you sooner or later you'll find that the pastures aren't all that green over there either.
Eventually they're going to get chinch bugs and weeds in their grass too. So you have to do the same amount of work in the new grass as you did in the old. Here's why.
When you get with a new person, of course things are exciting and brand new just like they were in the beginning with your current mate.
After some time passes though, your new relationship will start experiencing some tough and challenging times too.
So what i'm trying to say is, unless your mate is physically or verbally abusing you, doing criminal activity, or just reckless,
maybe the time you spend looking for and caring for greener grass would be better spent putting the time in to fertilize, water, and nurture the grass you already have.
Lets be honest. Relationships whether you are dating or if you are married, are hard. Things don't always go smoothly and disagreements will happen.
That's why it takes it takes a 100% commitment from both partners to make it a success.
A lot of times when people break off a relationship physically or emotionally, they feel like something is missing.
The "spark" has gone, leaving one or both people feeling neglected and unsatisfied.
Make the choice to love your mate and not depend on "warm and fuzzy" feelings you may get in that new pasture. Trust me, those "warm and fuzzy" feelings will one day fade away in time.
There are so many things you can do to better your relationships and get to know each other on more deeper level.
I have 21 ways to guide you in the right direction. You can use this page as a relationship advice guide that will help to build, strengthen, and enhance your current relationship.
Remember, little steps taken every day will add up to huge success for you and your mate.
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does.
However, after time , the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "you look so beautiful" they might hear "why are you wearing that shirt". If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed.
Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over.
The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy, but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation.
Focus only on the special things your mate does and learn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie.
The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy.
People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult.
Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other.
Once the plan is in place,. no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
The POWER OF TOUCH
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships.
Playing with your mate's hair , rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentile back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you.
When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck?
This is not in a sexual way, but in an affectionate way. There is a difference.
The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery store, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand.
Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead.
For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible.
When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place.
When asked where you are going , simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased tow great seats for tonight's performance or " I know we had planned on going to dinner, but i wanted to surprise you with something special, I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups i concert."
The idea of you getting the tickets for something they like and then keeping it as special surprise will touch their heart!
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like.
If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart.
Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did,whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. as an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided.
As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.
If you are married, especially with children, get out out of the habit of talking about nothing.
Often families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of "What did you have for lunch today?" or "I wonder what's on the do it yourself channel tonight?"
Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest.
Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest.
It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mates life.
RE-ESTABLISH OLD TRADITIONS
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it.
Perhaps you met after work on Friday at The Ritz Theater for amateur night, worked on a home improvement project together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some ruff patches in their relationship. Things tend to get serious.
It could be that there is a huge amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say. Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up.
Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if the time is right, laugh about it.
If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable.
When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go or boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consists of your man sitting for hours watching
football, (and boy am I guilty of it) fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join him on the couch,
or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise her with a new flowering plant
and then help to plant it.
When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, "I love you," and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.
Now this is one the most important ones of all time! When couple are having problems, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad.
When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind.
Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen,, really listen.
That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine.
However if you do not agree, do not yell, rather , the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution.
This is hard work but within an very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.
A NIGHT OF PASSION
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy.
Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way, When relationships are troubled , I can tell you from experience, the last thing either person wants (especially her) is to be sexual or passionate with each other.
However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial. Make your intimate time together special.
Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.
Stat a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting several of you and your mate's friends. Set up board games that everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have a blast.
Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. This is a wonderful way to interact with each other's friends as a couple.
As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated, Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate's birthday, take some time to plan something very special.
Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation. Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated.
Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.
If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a late night gourmet meal.
When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal.
After he picks himself up off the floor, he will fall in love with you all over again for this wonderful greeting.
If reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and a wonderful meal.
Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will read, "This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner." This is how you keep romance alive!
Give your mate gifts "just because." These do not have to be expensive whatsoever. For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen.
Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her kitchen.
Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her. Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink,
She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was far more cherished.
SAY IT WITH WORDS
Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase.
Maybe they have a brief case where you know they will find it.
Another suggestion is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing they see in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this one.
When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence.
However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture the cuddling stops.
Take some time just to cuddle, If your mates is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle.
This makes both people feel secure and loved.
7 Ways To Make A Man Feel Good
For the man in your life, here are some suggestions for making him feel special:
7 Ways To MAKE A Woman Feel Good
Just like men, women love feeling good about themselves. These suggestions might help
Listen To The Words You Say
If you're in a relationship, you've probably gotten used to speaking to each other in a certain way. You know those short, blunt, answers to every question.
Do you say smart remarks or heavy sighs, and do that lip smacking like your mate is getting on your nerves? Sure we all do!
Listen very closely to the things that you say to your mate. When communicating, try to be optimistic positive and cheerful.
Respond in a way that your make believes that you are listening and that you really care. Show them that you have time to listen and talk to them.
Also, you should put some loving terms in your conversations, like instead of saying "good morning" try "Hi baby, good morning!"
Okay I know that's only 21 things to do, but I'm running out of space for this one page so check back often as I add more ways to to strengthen your bond with relationship advice from Darron's Beauty Shop.